If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
