On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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