some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Even my vagina gasped.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
