i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
