I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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