after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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