ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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