The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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