You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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