You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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