How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
