then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
