I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
