I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
