I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
