Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
