So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
