my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
