i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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