You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
