I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
