Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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