spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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