just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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