Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
