Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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