I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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