I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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