Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
