What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
