How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
