Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
