kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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