well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
