was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
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