spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
