I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize