He felt like a one man threesome
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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