11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Randomize
