Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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