The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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