so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
