I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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