Well douche your snatch and let's go!
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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