And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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