Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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