I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
