I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
not ubering you a puppy
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
