I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
