ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
