hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
