Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
How external is "for external use only"?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
