I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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