There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just want nice things and good sex
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize