so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
