How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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