ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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