I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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